HOCC:My girls make my life and I never even wanted to have kids!

Humans of Calvert County, Sarah Merranko & Anita Santoyo

“I told my husband, I don’t want to be buried, I don’t want to be cold, I want to be cremated and tattoo me onto your arm so I can be with you always. My daughter was like, I’m not doing that!

My girls make my life and I never even wanted to have kids! It all changed. I always tell them ‘you can tell me anything, you came out of me.’ They’re like, can you stop saying that……that visual!

What used to make me so afraid, fearful, I don’t think it has that affect anymore. I’m just so appreciative of every single moment. I don’t think I was like that before. That is really a gift.

What I want for my girls?

To know that they are loved just because. They don’t have to think this or do this or do anything. They’re just a part of this connection that is love. Just because. It’s always a safe place. You always have a safe place with each other.

You are good. You don’t have to be like anybody else. You don’t have to be this or be that. Just be you.

You are exactly perfect. You are perfect. Every feature you see. You are so perfect. And I don’t mean perfect as in flawless. I mean perfectly made. This is the way you were supposed to be.

Love life and love what you’re doing. Pour joy into somebody else. Be contributors. A connective piece of society and the world.

Nothing can stop what God has planned for you and what God wants you to see in yourself. Your abilities, capabilities and who you are. I think that’s what the whole journey is about. So you can see who you are. What you’re made of. How tough you are. How tough you can be.

And that’s how I really feel. That Everybody is on a journey. We have to stop looking at things as a troubled past and look at things as our journey to who we are, of who we’re going to be. Or who we want to become. This is my path and it’s making me the perfect vessel for God’s purpose, whatever that may be.

There’s a scripture that tells us to ask God to be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. And so if we allow God to do that, every step we take is purposed by him. So if that step causes pain or tragedy, it’s still meant to build us, to make us into who he needs us to be for our journey. That’s what gives us this ‘strength’ that we can get through this. Because God has ordained this to happen in my life. And he knew it before I was even born. And he’s walking me through it. He’s the light and if he told you this is the direction you need to go and you go, it’s where your supposed to be. It may not be comfortable, it may not be ideal, but you’re going to get through it and it’s going to build you into who you need to be for his purpose.

That’s all we can do.

Follow that light. And be the light.”